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Showing posts with the label Humor

Writing Online

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Of late, I have been writing mostly movie reviews. I found that this is a rather save and easy way for me to write online. The few times I tried writing on other things, the editor of the site I wrote for found many mistakes in my grammar. Surprisingly there was minimal or no grammar mistakes for the movie review I wrote. I love watching movies so I am happy to be able to write movie reviews. After a few disappointing movies, I try to be more selective on the movies I watch. Some movies are for my own entertainment while others to allow me to spend time with my children. One movie such movie was Warm Bodies , even though it was a zombie movie it was not scary at all. There was a part we had fun with. It was the point when the main character a zombie named “R”, he had turned back into human and was shot by the human survivors. The girlfriend was trying to convince them that he is human and used the fact that he is bleeding as proof. Zombies do not bleed. I told my children,

The Mom Song

I just attended a talk today on parenting and was introduced this outrageously funny video and thought I would share it here:

Prison vs Working Place

I received the following in the mail and thought of sharing it. Prison Working Place You spend the majority of your time in an 8'X10' cell You spend most of your time in a 6'X8' cubicle You get three meals a day (free) You only get a break for one meal and probably have to pay for it yourself You get time off for good behavior. You get rewarded for good behavior with more WORK. A guard locks and unlocks the doors for you You must carry around a security card and unlock open all the doors yourself You can watch TV and play games. You get fired for watching TV and playing games. They allow your family and friends to visit. You can not even speak to your family and friends. All expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work at all. You get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for the prisoners.

Something my son told me

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.

You are a new dad if...

Received this in an email: You’re A New Dad If… You’ve gotten used to doing everything one-handed. The thought of your mother-in-law coming over for a few hours is a pleasant one. You answer the question “How are you?” with “We’re fine.” Getting six hours of sleep is a privilege. You decide whether a shirt is wearable based on how well the spit-up stains match the shirt’s main color. You see a lovely teenage girl walking down your street, and you think, “I wonder if I could interest her in ... babysitting?”

A joke I told my son

What do you get when a cat hit a pillar? A cat-a-pillar.

Donkey

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A woman is driving in her car on a road. A man is driving in his car on the same road, but in the opposite direction. When they pass each other, the woman opens her window and shouts to the man: DONKEY! The man immediately responds: BITCH! Both continue their separate ways, the man being very satisfied with his quick and bitchy reaction. And just as he reaches the first curve in the road … Moral: “When the other person speaks, try to think of the actual message rather than just react."