Strovek Writes

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Sunday, August 16, 2009

MUM - JOB DESCRIPTION

POSITION
Mother, Mum, Mama, Mummy, Mumma, Ma

JOB DESCRIPTION
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment.Candidates must possess excellent communication and organisational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.

Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.

Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.

Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.

Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION
Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent.

When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Twelve Wonderful Commandments

1. Make up your mind to be happy. learn to find pleasure in simple things.

2. Make the best of your circumstances. No one has everything, and everyone has something. Of sorrow intermingled with gladness of life. The trick is To make the laughter outweigh the tears.

3. Don't take yourself too seriously. Don't think that somehow you should be protected From misfortune that befalls other people.

4. You can't please everybody. Don't let criticism worry you.

5. Don't let your neighbor set your standards. Be yourself.

6. Do the things you enjoy doing but stay out of debt.

7. Never borrow trouble. Imaginary things are harder to bear than real ones.

8. Since hate poisons the soul, do not cherish jealousy, Avoid people who make you unhappy.

9. Have many interest. If you can't travel, read about new places.

10. Don't hold postmortems. Don't spend your time brooding over sorrows or mistakes. Don't be one who never gets over things.

11. Keep busy at something. A busy person never has time to be unhappy.

12. And don't forget to always be THANKFUL! And Thank God for today!

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Different Parts of Our Body Age At Different Times

Received this from a colleague:

WE all accept that getting older is inevitable, and now leading clinicians have revealed the exact age when different body parts start to decline, most alarming being the brain and lungs.

French doctors have found that the quality of man's sperm starts to deteriorate by 35, so that by the time a man is 45 a third of pregnancies end in miscarriage. Here, with the help of leading clinicians, Angela Epstein tells the Daily Mail the ages when different parts of the body start to lose their battle with time.

BRAIN - Starts aging at 20
As we get older, the number of nerve cells - or neurons - in the brain decrease. We start with around 100 billion, but in our 20s this number starts to decline. By 40, we could be losing up to 10,000 per day, affecting memory, co-ordination and brain function.

GUT - Starts aging at 55.
A healthy gut has a good balance between harmful and 'friendly' bacteria. But levels of friendly bacteria in the gut drop significantly after 55, particularly in the large intestine, says Tom MacDonald, professor of immunology at Barts And The London medical school. As a result, we suffer from poor digestion and an increased risk of gut disease. Constipation is more likely as we age, as the flow of digestive juices from the stomach, liver, pancreas and small intestine slows down..

BREASTS - Start aging at 35
BY their mid-30s, woman's breasts start losing tissue and fat, reducing size and fullness. Sagging starts properly at 40 and the areola(the area surrounding the nipple) can shrink considerably.

BLADDER - Starts aging at 65
Loss of bladder control is more likely when you hit 65. Women are more vulnerable to bladder problems as, after the menopause, declining estrogen levels make tissues in the urethra - the tube through which urine passes - thinner and weaker, reducing bladder support. Bladder capacity in an older adult generally is about half that of a younger person - about two cups in a 30-year-old and one cup in a 70-year-old....

LUNGS - Start aging at 20
Lung capacity slowly starts to decrease from the age of 20. By the age of 40, some people are already experiencing breathlessness. This is partly because the muscles and the rib cage which control breathing stiffen up.

VOICE - Starts aging at 65
Our voices become quieter and hoarser with age. The soft tissues in the voice box (larynx) weaken, affecting the pitch, loudness and quality of the voice. A woman's voice may become huskier and lower in pitch, whereas a man's might become thinner and higher.

EYES - Start aging at 40
Glasses are the norm for many over-40s as failing eyesight kicks in - usually long-sightedness, affecting our ability to see objects up close.

HEART - Starts aging at 40
The heart pumps blood less effectively around the body as we get older. This is because blood vessels become less elastic, while arteries can harden or become blocked because of fatty deposits forming on the coronary arteries - caused by eating too much saturated fat. The blood supply to the heart is then reduced, resulting in painful angina. Men over 45 and women over 55 are at greater risk of a heart attack.

LIVER - Starts aging at 70
This is the only organ in the body which seems to defy the aging process.

KIDNEYS - Starts aging at 50
With kidneys, the number of filtering units (nephrons) that remove waste from the bloodstream starts to reduce in middle age.

PROSTATE - Starts aging at 50
The prostate often becomes enlarged with age, leading to problems such as increased need to urinate, says Professor Roger Kirby, director of the Prostate Center in London . This is known as benign prosthetic hyperplasia and affects half of men over 50, but rarely those under 40. It occurs when the prostate absorbs large amounts of the male sex hormone testosterone, which increases the growth of cells in the prostate.. A normal prostate is the size of a walnut, but the condition can increase this to the size of a tangerine.

BONES - Start aging at 35
'Throughout our life, old bone is broken down by cells called osteoclasts and replaced by bone-building cells called osteoblasts - a process called bone turnover,' explains Robert Moots, professor of rheumatology at Aintree University Hospital in Liverpool . Children bone growth is rapid - the skeleton takes just two years to renew itself completely. In adults, this can take ten years. Until our mid-20s, bone density is still increasing. But at 35 bone loss begins as part of the natural aging process.

TEETH - Start aging at 40
As we age, we produce less saliva, which washes away bacteria, so teeth and gum are more vulnerable to decay. Receding gum - when tissue is lost from gums around the teeth - is common in adults over 40.

MUSCLES - Start aging at 30
Muscle is constantly being built up and broken down, a process which is well balanced in young adults. However, by the time we're 30, breakdown is greater than buildup, explains Professor Robert Moots. Once adults reach 40, they start to lose between 0.5 and 2 per cent of their muscle each year. Regular exercise can help prevent ?his.

HEARING - Starts aging mid-50s
More than half of people over 60 lose hearing because of their age, according to the Royal National Institute for the Deaf.

SKIN - Starts aging mid-20s
The skin starts to age naturally in your mid-20s.

TASTE AND SMELL - Start aging at 60
We start out in life with about 10,000 taste buds scattered on the tongue. This number can halve later in life. After we turn 60, taste and smell gradually decline, partly as a result of the normal aging process.

FERTILITY - Starts aging at 35
Female fertility begins to decline after 35, as the number and quality of eggs in the ovaries start to fall. The lining of the womb may become thinner, making it less likely for a fertilized egg to take, and also creating an environment hostile to sperm.

HAIR - Starts aging at 30
Male hair loss usually begins in the 30s. Hair is made in tiny pouches just under the skin's surface, known as follicles. A hair normally grows from each follicle for about three years, is then shed, and a new hair grows. Most people will have some Grey hair by the age of 35. When we are young, our hair is colored by the pigments produced by cells in the hair follicle known as melanocytes.

Monday, August 10, 2009

NAILS IN THE FENCE

Received this from a friend - posted it a bit late. National Friendship week is on Aug 2, 2009 (one week late).

Make sure you read all the way down to the last sentence.



(Most importantly the last sentence)



There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.

The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.. Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all.

He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.


The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.

The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, 'You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. But It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound will still be there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. Remember that friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us. '



It's National Friendship Week. Show your friends how much you care.. Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND, even if it means sending it back to the person who sent it to you! If it comes back to you, you will then know you have a circle of friends.



YOU ARE MY FRIEND AND I AM HONORED!

Sunday, August 2, 2009

The Mom Song

I just attended a talk today on parenting and was introduced this outrageously funny video and thought I would share it here:

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Chingay - Flag Balancing competition in Penang

To give you a sense of the difficulty, see the size of the flag compared to the participants:



The video is here: